Review of The Cabin in the Woods (2012) by Migratedwolf — 17 Feb 2013

This movie has one of the worst plot lines I've ever seen, it's gimmicky trying to pull in the audience with gruesome deaths that could have been thought up by a 12 year old...OH AND boobs! you like boobs right?,right? well if you want boobs look elsewhere, all the babes in this movie make the walls jealous with their flat chests.

..Moving on... They break the Immersion that a good horror movie should have too, with mediocre character development, and terribly predictable outcomes when they encounter the hillbilly zombie family.

..No I you not that is the literal name of the monsters in this film. Now before I get asked, no the acting isn't terrible, but it's not amazing either sometimes even ruining the immersion even further with unbelievably dull reactions and lackluster expression, how am I supposed to be scared or laugh when your characters aren't even petrified.

Oh what? you thought that was it?- no. The ending is really unexpected but only because of the stupidity it took the characters to get to such a conclusion. Overall, maybe it might make your girl cuddle up into your wimpy arms once or twice, but other than that, I wouldn't watch this movie if you truly want to have the need to check under your bed and lock your doors before sleeping, like any good horror movie should, It's unbelievable that people are giving it an 8, 9, and EVEN 10 out of 10 for this.

I couldn't even tell what genre it was, I thought it was horror; which is why I bought it, but I was never scared. About 20 minutes in I started to think "Oh this must be a comedy!" but I never laughed.

Overall a let down, I would severely hesitate and think about it before watching this stain of a movie.