Review of The Ant Bully (2006) by Nicolas M — 10 Jul 2007

The casualties at the Battle of the Red Sofa were staggering; thousands of the fallen littered the battlefield. They should have realised that they were no match for an angry woman armed with a fresh can of insect spray. My dearest normally adheres to Buddhist principles when it comes to the treatment of insects and the like. Better to gently shepherd them out of the house, rather than being scraped off my shoe which is my normal ?terminate with extreme prejudice? approach. But even the best of Buddhists have their limits; which in the case of my wife was reached following several ant attacks to the bum on our living room sofa.

The sofa was upturned, a can of insect spray was emptied into it; and we took refuge in a back room for several hours while the noxious fumes dispersed. The ants were duly annihilated; but in retrospect this turned out to be not the right time to offer the her a guest spot as a reviewer on this column; especially when the movie she chose to review (because I couldn?t bring myself to watch it), was called Ant Bully. Ant Bully is an animated feature aimed at a younger audience. The hero, if that is the right word, is a young boy who delights in abusing the ants in his garden. Through a miracle of physics, he finds himself shrunk to the size of an ant; and discovers the importance of teamwork, the dangers of household rubbish falling from the sky; and other important life lessons. I asked my wife to watch it and then write a brief review. After much consideration she offered the following incisive analysis: ?It?s crap?. I awarded full marks for the requested brevity but suggested a little more explanation for the low rating was in order. She offered: ?It?s crap because it makes you feel guilty about killing ants.?

Review summary: Don?t kill ants and then watch Ant Bully.