Review of The Amityville Horror (2005) by Eytan D — 25 Dec 2014

The main problem here is that there is literally nothing to be scared of, nor anything else to find entertaining.

It never appealed to my inner fears, since it is hard to relate to a family made of a trophy DILF with a very defined six pack, a woman that spends her time looking like a million bucks, a trio of kids that play in the most bland, clichÃÂ (C)d fashion that seems to be in every horror movie involving kids, and a handful of angry spirits that hold back from scaring anyone but the mother or those kids.

As pedestrian and flat as horror gets.