Review of The 13th Warrior (1999) by Christopher L — 06 Jul 2008

[b][i]The 13th Warrior[/i][/b] - What begins as what we think will be a mesmerizing viking war epic sadly turns a bit thin and sour by the hour mark. Still, there's much fun to be had, many wonderful scenes and some truly beautiful set pieces and costumes. Banderas is well-cast. [b]**1/2 (out of ****) B-.

[i]Armageddon[/i][/b] - I know, I know - everyone is supposed to hate [i]Armageddon[/i] because it's basically an assault on the senses without any "real" value. Well, poop on that bunch of bull honkey! I love Michael Bay's film. It's fast, hilarious, action-packed, contains magnificent special effects and a manipulative but satisfactory ending. It's his only good film, so why not love it? [b]***1/2 (out of ****) A-.

[i]The Avengers[/i][/b] - Jeremiah Chechik's [i]The Avengers[/i] is a great-looking series of grievous miscalculations sporting bad performances fueled by terrible dialogue and a story so silly it's actually funnier than anything we're [i]supposed[/i] to be laughing at. Skip this dookieball. [b]* (out of ****) D.

[i]Broken Arrow[/i][/b] - The only John Woo film I remember liking was [i]Mission: Impossible II[/i]. I've seen maybe two others (this and [i]Windtalkers[/i], if I'm not mistaken). [i]Broken Arrow[/i] is silly and kind of boring, and for an action film to be boring in the slightest is to be also a failure. Oh well. I still love John Travolta. [b]** (out of ****) C.

[i]Chill Factor[/i][/b] - What were they thinking? [i]Speed 3: Ice Cream Truck[/i]? Wow. Cuba'a a bit of fun, though, and there are some good (and quite unexpected) gore gags, but it's a silly flick. [b]*1/2 (out of ****) D+[/b].