Review of ThanksKilling (2008) by Justin H — 09 Jun 2010

"Damn you, turkey! Damn yooooouuu!!" Any movie with a line like that seems like it should be destined to be awesomely bad. You know, something like "Poultrygeist," or "Weasels Rip My Flesh," that manages to be entertaining and hilarious despite its overwhelming stupidity. Well I've seen both of those films, and I'm sad to say that "Thankskilling" is no "Poultrygeist.".

What we have here is a laborious mess of a movie that tries to make fun of itself and just ends up being more insipid for it. It's populated by the basest of stereotypes (the dumb girl, the jock, the redneck, etc.), and each and every one of them is an idiot. This includes the killer turkey, who not only talks, but cracks "jokes" that make Freddy Krueger from his later movies look like a Nobel laureate.

Here's something you can do to try and make the movie more entertaining: grab your favorite alcoholic beverage and take a drink every time someone references piss, scat, or sex. I'll see you in the ER, because that's the bulk of the screen time here. And to make matters worse, it took not one, not two, but FIVE people to write this turkey. (See? I can do horrible puns too!) Seriously, avoid "Thankskilling" (and its promised sequel--in SPACE--should it ever see the light of day), like the plague that it is. It's right down there with the likes of "Pocahauntus." The only reason this didn't get 1/2 star from me is that I've somehow managed to see films that are worse in my time, and I can't bring myself to hate this quite that much...there are at least a few scenes here that got a chuckle out of me. But that's no saving grace. Trust me on this one.