Review of Tekken (2010) by Phil H — 13 Mar 2013

Yep I didn't know they had made a film either!. Guess what? its sucks ass a lot less than 'Street Fighter', about as good as 'Mortal Kombat' but miles better than 'Double Dragon' and 'Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li'.

OK firstly, the fights are actually quite good, most of them do in fact copy many moves from the game very well and there appears to be no camera tricks either, actually impressed there. Very little blood of course as this is aimed for a young audience which is a shame as an adult version could of been quite good.

Right characters, hmmmm well you can't include every character of course so they include most of the main popular guys n gals, 'Jin', 'Yoshimitsu', 'Fury', 'Nina', 'Eddie', 'Law' etc...and to be honest SOME of the cast do look the part and look half decent eg. 'Fury', 'Jin', 'Law' and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as 'Heihachi'. The rest I'm afraid look daft eg. 'Raven' looking the worst in his gay sparkly outfit. Cast wise its all unknowns to me apart from Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa who always hams it up something beautiful and is good as 'Heihachi' and Luke Goss who does nothing really. Much like all other video game adaptations in the beat em ups' genre most of the cast are pretty dire but look pretty and there's always one reasonable big name.

Lastly the plot and film, well its crap really innit, the plot is just a selection of fights between the fighters with a luke warm story in the background about the Tekken company ruling the US in a distopian future (like so many better sci-fi films) where 'the company' is seen as evil and only one man can topple it...'Jin'. Its turd and very basic with predictable outcomes, fight results and ending. It does help if you know the video game of course but I'm sure they have messed up that side too but I'm not fully up to date on the game plot anymore.

Lots of 'A-Team' like action throughout due to it being aimed at kids, shame, not many bullet holes on view, plenty of faceless drone like henchmen being killed, obvious sets, a little bit at the end credits and small character hints for the fans throughout. Sequel?? yes its set up for one but like 'Street Fighter II' its so dire I doubt they will be allowed to make another.