Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) by Krissy L — 24 Sep 2015

So.. I have been a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan for a long ass time. I got the new movie a few months ago and never watched it. No idea why I even got it, but I did. And I couldn't sleep so I looked through Netflix and after looking for 30ish minutes, I watched the movie. It blows. It really does suck. The backstory for this movie is just super bad and the bad guy in it... He is just stupid. "I'm going to be rich. Like, stupid rich." Does he even know that he is already stupid rich.. Like, does it not see the house he lives in..? And Splinter.. God, this rat just sucks.. His voice is crap and... Really... A book on ninjutsu... This is how the great Splinter learns the art of being a ninja... A book... On ninjutsu.... That's like saying Batman learns how to fight from a How To book.. It's just beyond stupid. And April O'Neil in this is just... Was there even a point for her to even be in this movie? I mean, besides the really shitty backstory that the turtles are her pets and she saved them... That's like the ONLY "good" thing to this character. Don't give me wrong, the other April O'Neils from the past shows and movies made her look... Like the every day Damsel in Distress.. But at least they didn't have to mess up the story JUST so she has a reason to be here..

Now... I did like the turtles.. Not looks or anything, if I have a nightmare tonight, it will be because of them. But they did the right personalitys for them all and showed it in the 1:30-1:40 like movie. you know Mikey is the goofy one, not that smart but really tries and his love for pizza as well as being the one that is like a teenager out of all of them. You see that Donny is the brains and they make it clear that he is a little bit of a geek or nerd, but he always thinks on his feet. You know that Raph is the lone wolf and wants to be the leader but can't because of his "I can do anything" persona. And you know that Leo is the leader. You see that he looks after the others like one does and that he doesn't really have much of a personality outside of being the leader. and that's what these turtle have always been. and this movie takes years and years of showing that and puts it in this under two hour movie. Even if it was shit.