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Last updated: 13 Jun 2026 at 00:32 UTC

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Review of by Bj W — 21 Jun 2016

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Celluloid Cancer:

Poorly directed and never a moment where the camera just stands fucking still for more than a few seconds, the fight scenes are framed for shit and 90% slow-motion, writing is so Poorly directed and never a moment where the camera just stands fucking still for more than a few seconds, the fight scenes are framed for shit and 90% slow-motion, writing is so ridden with holes and nonsensical "plot" points that it simply doesn't make any sense, exposition is forced and unnatural, and don't even get me started on the design choices which have been maligned since they were revealed before the movies release.

They got the turtles archetypes right which is middle school level shit and never goes any deeper than just an archetype. April is objectified every 3seconds, which isn't surprising given It's a Michael Bay production. with holes and nonsensical "plot" points that it simply doesn't make any sense (why does Splinter know who, what, or anything about Shredder at all when they've never met prior?), exposition is forced and unnatural, and don't even get me started on the design choices.

They got the turtles archetypes right which is middle school level shit and never goes any deeper than just an archetype. April is objectified every 3seconds, which isn't surprising given It's a Michael Bay production.

This review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) was written by on 21 Jun 2016.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has generally received mixed reviews.

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