Review of Swordfish (2001) by Chris C — 19 Mar 2012

1/5 - Imagine that you're a teacher. You instruct your students to write the screenplay for a quasi-heist film that HAS to include a non-sensical plot, Halle Berry's boobs, Hugh Jackman joyfully hacking a computer to generic early '00s techno and as much long-haired John Travolta screen-time as a sentient creature could take before imploding from shameful regret for watching the film in the first place.

Then imagine the output of your worst student. A story board haphazardly scrawled in dayglo yellow crayola.

That is Swordfish. You have Swordfish in your hands.

I hope you're happy.