Review of Sucker Punch (2011) by Mcg182 — 27 Mar 2011

Lack of an R rating (violence and provocativeness don't go well with PG-13), complete anachronisms, illogicality, incoherent toning, irrational characters (with so little development that its message is utterly lost), a microscopically thin and yet somehow confusing plot, sad attempts at profundity (due to lack of any character development other than the main character), stupid attempts at transcribing 60s, 80s, and 90s pop culture into a dark and gothic setting in a film set in the mid-50s (not to mention industrial rock as music that the characters listen to and dance to, when distortion guitar was considered a new invention at the time) and lame and ultimately unengaging writing make the film diminish in value greatly, but what holds it up are three things: visual effects, above-average acting from the actresses, and a good soundtrack.

The film's fight sequences don't hold up with the main story most times, and neither does the soundtrack a couple of times, but I didn't care one bit. I'm saw the Rotten Tomatoes score and set my standards low for watching this, and I enjoyed the film for what it was: hot chicks jumping around fighting in skimpy clothing, explosions, dragons, gunfights, sword fights, and blimps exploding.

Some of the actors are good, like Emily Browning, Jamie Cheung, Abbie Cornish, and the guy who plays the stepfather, but some are pretty campy, like Vanessa Hudgens (as Blondie, a brunette whose name is Blondie), and Oscar Issacs.

One stands out as the worst, which is Carla Gugino as Dr. Gorski, who's supposed to be playing a Polish doctor, but her accent waivers from Germany (Ja?) (or to gamers, probably Wakkan, ja?) to Russian (aCCcentuate the "CCCCCC" sound with plenty of phlegm) instead.

And the dialogue is so stock and so lame that it makes Tommy Wisseau look like Charlie Kaufman. The action scenes, while extremely well done, come out of nowhere, even inside an already existing fantasy (she imagines sword fighting and gun fighting while on a stage at a brothel dancing while on a stage in the mental institution dancing [and no, that's not a typo]), and lack any logic to the point of total anachronism (helicopters in medieval times, samurais with huge guns in feudal Japan, and zombies in Nazi-Germany, girls in the 50s imagining using 21st century M-16s, MP-5s, and high tech mechas with a jet pack and an internal computer-powered aiming system during WWII, and trying to destroy high-tech bombs on a 20th century monorail), and most times have little to no attachment to the storyline (what the hell does fighting a dragon have to do with stealing a lighter, or dismantling a bomb have to do with stealing a knife, or even Japanese wise men have to do with go-go dancing?).

The characters most times are irrational. For example, Babydoll clearly hears that Blue will forge Dr. Gorski's signature to get her lobotomized. She never takes into consideration telling Dr. Gorski, the only person who can allow lobotomies and is against the procedure, to cancel it and have Blue arrested, nor does Dr.

Gorski call the police when Blue shoots two of the patients. Also, the message, suspense, and emotion are lost in translation, because Snyder refused to give anyone else any detailed exposition as much as Babydoll, instead of giving everyone ample exposition so that it can be anyone's story, and have its dramatic twist work.

There is no way to soften up or sugar-coat the fact that this movie truly sucks, but it's just simply eye candy. Take it or leave it. Is it one of the greatest? PFFFT-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO!! Is it one of the best of the year? PFFFT-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO!! Is it an entertaining movie for those with the mindset of a guy who wants to see hot girls in glorious action sequences and nothing else? Completely.