Review of Stolen (2012) by Allen G — 23 Feb 2013

So I wasn't going into this one expecting much- pretty much a direct rip-off of Taken is what I was expecting- it wasn't that, it was pretty different.

It's a strange one this because I saw a lot of potential- I thought the first half hour of the film roughly, was pretty good and had it stayed that way it would get a fresh rating but the film slowly descends into farce. What confuses me is how intentional that is though- this film suffers from the uniquely-Cage downside known as The Wickerman effect. (yes, I am making this up as I go along but stay with me) This is when a film apparently aims to be funny but is viewed as accidentally funny and thus bad. Cage states that the Wickerman is meant to be funny and yet, despite people finding it funny, it received bad reviews because the comedy seemed accidental and the script seemed to take itself seriously. This film has the same problem- it feels like a mockery of heist and hostage films in one- the much-repeated 70s TV show sounding "theme song" if you will for this film creates a very obscure experience. The script is terrible and at the end feels like something out of a soft-porn comedy. (I use that simile too much- no more soft-porn for me!) That only further confuses though as are the soft-porns making fun of their notorious reputation for being terrible and is this film going down the same lines!? I really don't know. I just don't know. The best I can figure is that it's a film that doesn't take itself seriously and hopes that in doing so it can get away with being ridiculous- well if that's the case, it failed.

Cage is properly acting in this and sadly it only makes him stick out like a sore thumb- this is another specifically-Cage issue- good acting in films so terrible that they make the acting seem bad. Trespass for example has a strong performance from Cage but everyone else around him seems to know that the film is a failure and so they give half-hearted performances. This makes Cage seem silly when he is simply doing his job. It's the same here, the acting from almost everyone else in this is terrible and the whole time Cage is being all concerned for his daughter and angry at her kidnapper- his talent is wasted on something like this.

The visuals of the film also seemed to be a slight nod to old TV dramas but I could be wrong on that- I'm so confused, God-damn!

It's not an unwatchable film by any means, one can even enjoy it to an extent but as it goes on it becomes more and more of a struggle to take any of it seriously to the extent that the sad moment in the film is laughably bad. This is surely not intentional but IS IT!? Simon West directed this and he did Con Air- a great mix between action and mockery. If Cage had put on a mock southern drawl for this then maybe it'd be awesome!?

Regardless of what this movie is trying to do, there are still some damning failures- the script is lazy and sloppy to the extent that any fond movie watcher can see that things have been rushed and that there's holes everywhere.

The premise is boring and cliché and even if this is supposed to be intentional mockery- it's still boring.

I understand this journey that Cage is embarking on- okay, I don't. But I forgive him for it and I know he will return to the movies that make him the great actor he is. Until then (it may be a long wait) I will happily watch films like this for the comedy he provides- this one's defining moment is when he shouts about Creedence Clearwater Revival to his daughter's kidnapper. Classic.