Review of Starlet (2012) by V H — 09 Dec 2012

Jane is a long-legged young blonde who just moved to LA from Florida. She has a seemingly narcoleptic Chihuahua named Starlet who's her constant companion. She shares a house with Mikey and Melissa, a couple who are into video games, snorting oxycodone, and fighting.

One day while out hitting some yard sales, Jane is chastised by an abrasive old woman who takes umbrage with her asking if a large thermos the woman is selling is a cremation urn. Jane buys it anyway only to get it home and discover that it's crammed full of rolls of hundreds, about $10,000 in all. After a brief spending spree that includes a bedazzled harness for Starlet, Jane's conscience kicks in and she returns to the old woman's house, only to have the door slammed in her face.

Still, she persists, concocting a silly scheme to force a purportedly chance meeting in order to gauge just how much the woman, whose name is Sadie, needs the money. Despite Jane's warmth and Sadie's apparent loneliness, Sadie ups her level of crotchetiness after another "coincidental" encounter. With so many stories of scammers preying on seniors, this is probably a sensible posture to take if one finds oneself being stalked by a stranger at the bingo hall.

"Starlet" has several little surprises along the way that aren't exactly "spoilers" but I won't deny you the pleasure of experiencing them cold. Old woman. Young woman. Friendship. Dog. That's all you really have to know.

Jane is played by Dree Hemingway, daughter of Mariel Hemingway, who seems too young to have a 25-year-old kid, but turns out "Manhattan" was 33 years ago. Sadie is played by an 86-year-old first time actress who's a master of the withering grimace. They're both good, as is the sleepy dog, unless they were actually spiking its water bowl with Nyquil.

"Starlet" was a compromise choice but after reading a few negative reviews post-decision, I became so convinced that my friend and I were going to hate it that we were still debating seeing something else two blocks from the theater until I recalled that the "Starlet" theater has the best popcorn in town and that became the deciding factor. And what a pleasant surprise it turned out to be. The movie, that is; the popcorn was a little under-buttered for my taste, despite my specific request for "extra", goddammit.

Loved the move though. Ignore the negative reviews. It's not slow, it's not boring, and "indie" isn't a dirty word.