Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Chris Q — 01 Jun 2018

There are things I like about this movie and things I really, really love (but I will get to that in a moment). I own all the previous movies and grew up watching this franchise - and yes, I really liked this movie.

I watched this at the cinema and thought it was a significant upgrade on the The Force Awaken (by a considerable stretch). There were parts of The Force Awakens that I sometimes enjoyed but there were long stretches that I found predictable and boring (and Harrison Ford's exploits with the enemy space pirate aboard the Falcon was the most cringe-worth moment in any Star Wars movie).

In short, I found TFA flat, and sometimes, even boring. So much so, that once Solo and Finn boarded the new 'Death Star' to save Rey, I had seriously considered leaving the cinema (but couldn't due to being part of a group watching the movie).

I had no such experience watching The Last Jedi: I was fully engaged throughout. More space battles; digging deeper into Force philosophy; an epic sabre scene between Kylo, Rey, and Snoke's bodyguards; and non-stop action the whole way through the final third of the movie. What's more, it was fresh. Not a mere rehash of a previous instalment (TFA was a beat by beat remake of Episode 4).

The thing I really, really loooooved about this movie, however, was the epic Star Wars Fan Meltdown following the release and consumption of this movie. I grew up with this franchise, own all the movies but sat back in awe as social media exploded with 'fan' after 'fan' erupting into hilarious hyperbole: 'My childhood has been ruined!' 'Worst movie ever!' 'This should be removed from the canon!' 'Unwatchable garbage!' 'Johnson ruined the whole Franchise!' 'The prequels are better!' Rian Johnson deserves an Oscar for no other reason than inciting these 'fans' (who swim around in a mud pool of Star Wars self-entitlement) to implode into a frenzy of hysteria and wanton exaggeration on a par with nothing I have ever seen. It was truly immense! I enjoyed every minute of it!

What I loved even more than so-called Star Wars fans crying about what Johnson did to their beloved Luke (Mark Hamill was on top form in The Last Jedi - a truly memorable and focussed performance - nothing like the phoned-in shenanigans of Ford in the Episode 7) and Leia (who, again, came over a lot more convincing than she did in Episode 7) was that every time these trolls and anonymous posters come onto this site to spew their well-rehearsed hyperbole and hatred (for the 100th time - on yet another of their specially made RT accounts to bring the movie score down), they have to observe the current critical score of 91%. Significantly higher than any of the prequels that these self-indulgent fanboys quote as being superior than the global conspiracy that is The Last Jedi.

Oh, how they must shudder with anger as they type out another anonymous review whilst dripping saliva onto the LCD of their screen. 'It's all a fix', they cry! 'A conspiracy!' they roar in unison. The media are all in on it, you see. Oh, yes. All the critical reviewers, hailing from independent websites and broadsheet papers alike, are all in cahoots to inflate the score of a movie that everybody else supposedly hates (in the mind of the enraged Star Wars fan). A subversive plan to destroy the childhood of Star Wars fans the length and breadth of the globe, no less!

The most entertaining (and patently absurd - but, hey, we are dealing with hyperbole professionals, here) comments on Social Media, of course, are the 'Don't believe the critics! The audience score is a true reflection of how bad it is!' Their argument, you see, all hinges on the audience score of a website that doesn't even vet if you watched the movie or not, but more importantly, does not prevent multiples reviews being posted by the same user (repeatedly). You couldn't make this up. Check out the reviews on this site for this movie: anonymous trolls and first-time reviewers all chiming in with their hyperbole. It is almost certain that those with the biggest axe to grind posted one-star reviews multiple times (under different anonymous profiles) to bring this audience score down. And this is the crux of their 'Everybody hates this movie!' rhetoric. The audience section of a forum anybody can post on (as many times as they like under different profiles). LOL!

The CinemaScore rating (an exit poll taken of people who seen the movie) is A. Yes, A. Dry your eyes, Star Wars 'fans.'.

91% ON RT. A on CinemaScore. Have a nice cry, you utter moaners.

No matter how many times you post here with the same hyperbole, those two things won't change: 91% and A.

How amusing that you must have to cover your eyes to look at the critical response score every time you post here (daily).

Rian, I salute you. JJ Abrams, I hope you finish the job off with a meltdown of even greater proportions.

I believe in you, JJ.