Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Phil T — 24 Jan 2018

STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI.

This film could have been EPIC! But no instead they fucked it up truly, after the Force Awakens we was under false impressions that once Rey had found Luke we would be treated to an epic story and revival of the old school Jedi master, what we got was just plain stupid and too many plot holes to mention but here are some of the things that really pissed me off!

When Rey hands Luke his lightsabre he just throws it over his shoulders.

When they bomb the dreadnought class ship, somehow the bombs drop like a W2 bombing raid, there is no gravity in space WTF!

On the island Luke has become a hermit and feeding of some lazy looking lizards WTF!

Luke is nothing like the Luke from the past he is a totally different person.

Rey is nobody with parents who sold her off, there is no connection as to how she has suddenly become very powerful, and without any training she can do as much as Luke WTF!

Snoke was supposed to be very powerful and yet he gets killed by Kylo ren using a Jedi trick erm?

Now this bit really made me think "WTF" is going on in this movie, when Leah is blown out into space then like superman or a god she can use the force to survive and fly back into the ship WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.

Why did the rebels stop short of their destination and then allow the first order to pursue picking them off one at a time? Why did they not jump to light speed again to reach the planet sooner? They never mentioned running out of fuel in past movies.

The snobby bitch general would not disclose her intentions or plans, but happily let the rest of the remaining fleet get destroyed! Maybe she thought she was higher class than the paupers.

Said snobby bitch then decides once all the ships have been picked of apart from the one with Leah on-board she will turn her own ship around and use it as a light speed weapon which sliced right through Snokes ship cutting it to shreds! Now I did think it looked spectacular but also thought why have they never done this before? They could easily sacrifice a few X-wing fighters in past movies to do the same job, only a few lives would be lost but they would take out the entire first order, or the galactic empire fleet from older films, the baddies would be running for their lives game over!

Towards the end of the film we see Luke appear in front of the rebels last hideout then Kylo ren orders all fire power onto that man, which they do then once the dust settles Luke is still standing there, then simply just looks at his shoulder and brushes of a bit of dirt, Holy shit wow I thought this is when Luke makes a dramatic comeback and finishes of that stupid brat "Kylo ren" but oh no that is not what we got, instead Luke is just a hologram and in doing so strains himself so much that it kills him why? So now they have ruined is character and killed him off WTF!

There are too many things to list but most people would probably think the same, so this film has ruined what star wars should be and I can't see how they can repair the damage done now, it would seem there idea is that anyone can have Jedi power without any training or knowledge! And the laws of physics no longer exist.

So here is what I think will happen in the next movie, "Q" from the STAR TREK universe will intervene and put everything back the way it was supposed to be! See any Star Trek hatters out there you know it to be true!