Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Josh G — 19 Jan 2019

2 star - 1st Star Wars film I really disliked.

First the Good: visuals; acting; special effects; the Falcon; Jedi temple/tree/books; Yoda.

Then the Bad:

1. Poe's call to Hux;.

2. Slow bombing run;.

3. 1st order tracking the rebel spaceship? (no explanation of how, at least in Ep4 they explain the empire hid a tracking device on the falcon - in Ep8 there's no explanation at all).

4. R2D2 & C3PO have really nothing to do (I've got the same complaint about Ep7 - George's original idea was R2D2 & C3PO would be the only characters in all 9 films; and R2 plays a critical part in every film from 1 to 6).

5. Canto Bight sub-plot is completely irrelevant to plot.

6. Why don't Finn and Rose don't care about the slave kids, just the horses? completely illogical given Finn was a child slave of the First Order.

7. DJ's moral relativism and nihilism is successful - what a sad, twisted, morally devaluing message to give the young kids who go to see this film.

8. "let the past die" - motto of every violent revolutionary philosophy from the French Terror, Russian Marxists, Nazis, China's Cultural Revolution, Khmer Rouge.

9. Rey is super powerful without adeequate explanation (UNLESS she turns out to be a Skywalker in Ep9 - more of that later).

10. Skywalker bloodline is considered irrelevant? what the hell was the point of Eps 1-6 then?

11. Snoke origin a complete mystery for moviegoers who have no interest in the expanded universe (yes, the Emporer was similar in Eps 4-6, but we knew there were previous episodes, even if they hadn't been confirmed/filmed).

12. Luke tries to kill his nephew - just doesn't match Luke's basic decency, no matter what provocation.

13. BB8 - turning poker chips into missiles that defeat a legion of First Order soldiers is on par with teddy bear Ewoks defeating the Empire in ROTJ, or R2D2 having rockets to fly in Ep2.

14. Maz - phone call not aligned with previous films - never had someone having a phone/video call of a ship in hyperspace.

15. Luke throws away the lightsabre Rey gives him - just a useless gesture.

16. No explanation of why Rey got visions from the lightsabre.

17. Luke drinking sea cow milk - really didn't need to see that;.

18. Porgs - some vegetarian's propaganda about not enjoying meat?

19. Leia flying through space - Mary Poppins returns!

20. Ackbar's death - unworthy of a hero of ROTJ.

21. No Luke mourning of Han - at least it is in the deleted scenes on Bluray.

22. Holdo not explaining the plan - I've got no issue with females leaders of the Resistance (Mon Mothma was calling the shots in Ep6), but at least make them logical.

23. Rey's training - 3 lessons in 1 or 2 days? not nearly enough.

24. No lightsabre battle - very disappointing.

25. The ending - Resistance down to about 20 people, no equipment apart from the Falcon, with no allies left - nobody answered Leia's call for help. It felt more like what should have been a negative ending for a trilogy (indicating they'd lost and would take a long while to come back), compared with a 2nd movies in a trilogy.

In summary, TLJ had some good elements that were completely overshadowed by failures. It's the 21st century equivalent of the Star Wars Holiday Special.

To fix things in EP9:

1. Snoke is/was (Darth) Plageius - Ignore Pablo H's twitters, a twitter post is not canon.

2. Rey must be Luke and Mara Jade's daughter (explain with flashbacks - Kylo was either lying or was reading a vision Snoke planted in Rey's mind) or the results of a virgin birth ala Anakin.

3. Bring C3PO and R2D2 back into the middle of the plot.

All opinions above are my own and I make the ideas above freely available for anyone to use as they see fit.