Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Net P — 15 Jan 2018

Top 10 Things We Know After Watching Star Wars: The Last Jedi...

1. Released Dec 2017. Any critic giving a positive review because a film is 'visually stunning' should be ASHAMED. This isn't 1993's Jurassic Park. This is 2017/18. We can make CGI stormtroopers on our phones!

2. Disney decided to use multiple directors for a Star Wars trilogy (seemingly without the two communicating), because continuity in storyline, character development, and overall theme is just boring...

3. There is now gravity in space! Resistance fighters have to DROP bombs directly over the First Order ships, and ships slow down when they run out of fuel. Obviously, long ago in a galaxy far away the vacuum of space had gravity.

4. Slap stick comedy is now rampant in the Star Wars Universe. Return of the Jedi can now be digitally remastered again!! The force ghosts appearing at the celebration after the Battle of Endor can be played by Larry, Curly, and Mo!

5. John Williams still has it! One star for John Williams.

6. People can survive the vacuum of space! When opening the bomb bays of the WWII style bomber ships, and when sucked out of an exploded bridge of a resistance ship in the worst Peter Panning moment in cinematic history people survive in space. I mean, space has gravity so it might as well have atmosphere as well..

7. "This is Hollywood. No one cares if a move is good as long as it makes money!" --Mark Hamill.

8. This film did have editors' names listed in the credits. No one is really sure what they actually did, though...

9. Star Wars has produced the largest fan base of any movie series--one that has spanned 40 years, three generations, and made billions in merchandise sales. Disney and this director who shall not be named decided to 'kill the past' and 'go in a different direction', because, wait......Why did they do that?

10. The audience has spoken. Ep. 8 is the worst Star Wars move ever! As annoying as Jar Jar Binks was, Ep. 1 brought us a terrific Jedi scene. The Last Jedi has no redeeming qualities.