Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Yelrah56 — 29 Dec 2017

This was the single worst movie that I have ever had the displeasure of seeing in a theater. I've never actually considered leaving a cinema before in my life. The reasons for which this movie is just horrible range from big picture to nitty gritty, from personal opinions to objectively bad decisions. I'll lay it out as such.

Objectively bad:

- Fin and Rose's plot takes up half of the movie and accomplishes absolutely nothing.

- General Gender Studies's plan to escape the ship doesn't make any sense: "We're just going to abandon ship in these transports and hope that the enemy - who has surrounded us and is watching our every move - doesn't notice dozens of ships leaving out of the hangar.".

- Fin actually tries to make himself useful near the end in what was about to probably be the best scene in the movie but Rose ruins it because "MUH LOVE INTEREST" or some such crap.

Personal Opinion:

- Awful unfunny middle-school humor such as Poe's prank call in the beginning scene.

- Movie is saturated with jokes that don't ever allow us to take it seriously. For example, when Luke asks Rey where she is from and Rey says she's from nowhere, this is in the middle of an important conversation but Luke kills the mood with a poorly timed joke about Jakku really being nowhere.

- There was no reason for Admiral Tumblr to hide her plan to her staff. It's clear that they just did this so that Poe would mutiny and so that they could use the moment to talk about "toxic masculinity" since that's what Poe's character has been reduced to in this movie.

- Terrible acting overall. The characters speak like children. Remember in the casino scene when Fin is positively GAWWKING at the glamour of the place and can't even contain himself because apparently he's as excitable as a puppy on steroids? And when he and Rose find the generic master hacker they literally stop and stare and exclaim out loud "There he is! The master hacker!" Didn't anyone ever teach these idiots not to scream their intentions out loud?

- Goddamn SUPER LEIA Nitty Gritty:

- World War 2 style gravity bomb bays in SPACE.

- Multiple times where a ship is exposed to the vacuum of space without there being a forceful depressurization (leia coming back onto the ship, the last bomber in the opening scene literally having holes in it, the hangar of Snoke's ship still having air in it after getting shredded through by the Resistance flagship).

-Rose's awful quote after "saving" Fin is objectively incorrect and stupid.

The only reason I give this movie a 2 rather than a 0 is because of a couple select moments which are good. I enjoyed Luke's force apparition near the end and I thought it was cool when Vice Admiral Vag went full 9/11 on Snoke's ship. That said I would have preferred if Luke had actually been at his death in person, and I think it would have been better if it was Admiral Ackbar who went "Allahu Ackbar!" rather than Field Marshall Feminist but whatever at least those moments were still cool.