Review of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) by Snodog — 04 Jan 2014

It was worth a watch, that is the only good thing I'll say about it. Even then, only watch it when it's on T.V. and you have nothing better to do. Masturbation is a better use of your time.

The most disappointing aspect of the 3 prequels is the lack of artistic integrity. The original 3 were works of imagination, initiative, clever writing, and wonderful story telling with a hint of special effects. The 3 new Star Wars movies are only special effects mixed with bad acting and simple story telling. There were no surprise twists or turns in the story line, it was utterly predictable and uninteresting. Anakin (Hayden Christensen) seemed to be a completely week minded, morally confused, hormonal teen-age girl. Coupled with Haydens terrible acting, it was almost embarrassing to watch. I feel like he got an acting certificate from a community college, or more accurate, Lucas pulled the first semi-decent looking man off the street with no previous acting experience and threw him in as the man who turned into Darth Vader. The Jedi were laughably powerful in some aspects and the actual power of the force was laughably feeble. Light saber duels were overly complicated and literally just a dance with pretty lights. So many questions that this movie doesn't answer and so many questions it raises. Why can Yoda move amazingly dextrous when fighting, yet so crotchety anywhere else? Why, with a council of 10 or so JEDI MASTERS not see this coming when I, a simple watcher of events, knew what was coming, even had I not watched the first films? Why, devoting his ENTIRE life to the Jedi order, did Anakin decide to turn against it with little more than 2 conversations with the emperor? Why was master Windu able to defeat Darth Citius(?) so easily yet Yoda, seemingly the Jedi leader, fall so easily to him? Why would you move to a lava filled, dangerous mining facility with magma splashing around to sword fight? Why is it that NOT ONE person said 'Hey, killing all the Jedi seems wrong.'? Why would the Jedi council put Anakin in charge of watching the emperor if he was obviously close and friendly with him, knowing that he was wildly impressionable? These are just a few of the questions that either needed to not be asked or could have been answered with some basic story telling. The Emperor has been working for YEARS building his power, planning out his take over, conserving his power, yet the plan was laughably feeble and relied far too heavily on events that were, in all realistically, EXTREMELY unlikely to happen. So many holes in the plot and unrealistic events. Bottom line, this movie seemed to be written by 14 year old boys saying "You know what would be cool? um... um... um... if they had a sword fight on lava! Or if um... all the clones were actually really mean instead of the valiant army of level headed clones!" The acting... oh the acting. Natalie Portman, with her disturbing attempt at loving and crying. Hayden was overly dramatic and switched from a dark, twisted lord to a lovey dovey husband and future father, both grossly different emotions for one character. There should have been come carry over but it was a terrible switch in roles. The only decent actor Ewan McGregor. Even Samuel L. Jacksons acting seemed forced. Its as if they did one take for every scene and said "Good enough!" and left it at that.

All in all, doesn't deserve the title of Star Wars by any means, but its still a watchable moving if all you're expecting is flashy special effects.