Review of Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) by Theapplegnome — 25 Dec 2015

The only dialogs and characters 'The Craptom Menace' successfully did manage to deliver are the droid's. The rest are awful as they are **** But this **** is what I grew up to love and still does (somewhat).

In the end of the past millennium came several big blockbusters that eventually changed the movie industry. The CGI-era was introduced with several big blockbusters like 'Jurassic Park' and 'Independence Day'. But in 1999; 'Star Wars' was back and it arrived with glamorous effects that was way ahead of its time. But was the man named George Lucas still up for the job? Fans of the original films were disappointed and still are, even though it's been more than 15 years since. But it still managed to inspire a new generation of fans, like myself, to this universe that takes place in a galaxy far away.

Today; I'm still not sure if this is a somewhat good or a bad movie. I grew up with this space-opera and it still got a place in my heart. 'Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’ is still a movie full of stupid and hilarious flaws. The plot isn't simple, thats a big flaw right there. It's not that subtle, it keeps going, and it therefore often is very unpredictable (which is a good thing). But much of the story is vaguely written. Add a stupid amount of plot-holes and tonnes of silliness too; then you got this flick. George Lucas got a great feel for adding stupid and non-important subplots that just do more harm than good. The cool and entertaining podrace is one example. This is 'Star Wars', and I’m watching a race. Not a race to death but as in sport. Sure it’s the story of Anakin Skywalker and we see him in his younger age as a skilled and powerful pilot, but it’s still a race. Is this really a prequel to the 'Star Wars' George Lucas once invented? As mentioned; it’s a very messy and high-paced flick, which is noticeable near the third act. We see events take place on the ground, up in space and so on. The story is so spread out on different characters that no emotion nor empathy to them get’s real. Other disturbing aspects with the plot are the stupid and illogical decisions many characters keeps making over and over. It doesn't make anything better that many of the dialogs are expressed when the characters are sitting down, talking and debating; rather than during intense moments like what we saw in ’The Empire Strikes Back’.

The center of the film isn’t on one specific character and because of that; the whole movie is more of a ’previously’ than an origin story. ’The Phantom Menace’ should have been so much better if the center of the plot was on one character and one alone, and then develop and focus a great story on that specific individual. Not to add more non-important ones like Jar Jar Binks. Our main characters are on the other hand very well presented, and a very good performance from Liam Neeson! Nathalie Portman however; is very one-dimensional and dry with her dialogs. When it comes to the characters, are there not that much depth nor backstory to them. We don't really know that much about them and they don't impress that much if you must compare to the original films. The plot is as mentioned very high-paced, which I’ve grown up to love with its space-opera and action. But it might be a ”too plot centered” movie. There's no time to get to know our characters nor get to understand them. Our main protagonist Darth Maul is another example. He’s a very cool and badass villain, but how much do we know about him? How much does he say -- he’s just a baddie.

One aspect of these prequel-films are the incredibly forced moments where characters must show their emotion and what they see and think; through dialogs. Many dialogs are unnecessary, we know stuff, but they say it anyway. Look at the main protagonist and antagonists when they are confronting each other; how much interaction do they have on an emotional level? Do they really interact?

This was supposed to be the origin story of legendary characters like Darth Vader and Obi-wan Kenobi, but is it? It’s definitely a movie of many flaws, but it still got some positivity. I’ve always loved all the action, space-opera, battles, sound effects, music, cinematography and of course the overall adventures of the main antagonists. The main lead from Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are somewhat solid but of course not that deep or relatable. The CGI are on the other hand very mind-blowing for a movie that came out over 15 years ago. I’ve always loved this movie, and I still do. Yes, I'm overly entertained by a ****ty movie that shouldn't be okay to like at all. But this was my first entry to the galaxy far away, and it still got a place in my heart. But it still is a pretty awful movie from a critical viewpoint; with horrible dialogs, one-dimensional characters and a very vague story. Add childish humor with fart and poop jokes and too-many-to-mention accidental save the day-moments; welcome to ’The Craptom Menace’.