Review of Stake Land (2010) by Tania R — 09 Jan 2012

A friend of mine jokingly described this movie as looking like 'The Road' without the humor and 'Zombieland' without the pathos. It made me laugh but switch humor and pathos round and he was spot on.

The poster may look cool, however the film is unbelievably tedious and up it's own posterior. Plot-wise, as much as it pretends to be something new and hard hitting, this has all been done before.

Done much better as well. Sure, the cast all put in sterling efforts, but that can't save it from being a snorefest. I kept wishing that they'd have cast Tom Savini or Mickey Rourke as 'Mister', dropped the attempt at critic pleasing solemnity and upped the vampire staking action (which, given the title, is actually thin on the ground).

Martin's narration grates after a while too as it's all conducted in deadpan monotone plus completely unnecessary. In spite of the studio making their project so ridiculously serious, there isn't anything at its heart - no core message or thought provoking material.

Actually, the whole thing is instantly forgetable.