Review of Spectre (2015) by Tiberio S — 12 Nov 2016

Ah, what a sound, take it in, Monty Norman's classic opening notes of Cubby Broccoli's legacy, the gun barrel, James Bond targets the audience and fires - he captivates our imagination so deep we're bleeding. And then we're in Mexico on Day of the Dead, about a week after the actual Halloween - good timing. Adding to the line of Hispanic filmmakers with impressive long takes - Alfonso Cuaron and Alessandro Inarittu - Mendes tracks Bond through an epic-scale costumed extravaganza, every beat of his actions at this event all strung to one major beat: blowing up some bad guys. And what an explosion it is, probably the loudest I've heard in a movie. And this is undoubtedly the biggest shot ever staged for a Bond film. What follows is a chase and subsequent helicopter battle, which didn't move me as much as what came before it. Nevertheless, he gets something useful, a ring with an all too familiar logo: SPECTRE.

Bond is one of the most easily forgiven franchises, so if something breaks my rule for a good movie, I can kind of let it go with Bond. This is almost The Dark Knight Rises of 007, convoluted plot that's ass deep into it's prior installments, something I hate in any sequel. It leaves certain audience members on the outside trying to gauge what's going on while enjoying the spectacle around it. But it doesn't go nearly as far as Rises does in rounding out Batman Begins. Rather this is more contrived, a really simple idea that I wrote about myself eight years ago - all of these villains, Quantum and Silva, are working for SPECTRE, the grandmaster under Ernst Stavro Bloefeld (I buy Quantum and Le Chifre, but Silva was a lone nut). It didn't need to be done, but that it was gives some legitimacy to this Bond-verse for old-school fans. Many feel Bond is a dying breed, and he might be. Where do you go after Daniel Craig? I kind of hope nowhere, I'd rather it die than follow him. He should be in the role the rest of his life; he is James Bond.

One of the nicest things Mendes has managed to bring back to Bond is the settledness. Quantum was hyper and chopping, it never took time to relax. That's not Bond. 007 likes to sit back with the villains and entertain them for awhile, even become friends for a period. The villains like Bond and want to make him feel comfortable. Each is aging their meat for a delightful meal. Skyfall has this, but SPECTRE excels. Bond is at Blofeld's lair with the girl by his side, wining and dining, as only he knows how. And then he blows the damn thing up in what's been recorded as cinema's largest explosion. That's how you do it.

There is something that bothers me about the Craig films, which, for all the Bond pastiche SPECTRE gave us, is guilty for this one sin: the illegitimacy of Bond as a field agent. Casino Royale he's a rookie going through what's basically M's test; he passes. Only to fail with the same mistakes of killing too often in Quantum of Solace, forcing him to go rogue. Enter Skyfall and he's declared dead, badly injured, and fails the test to go back in the field, but M puts him there illegitimately as bait for Silva. And here we are at SPECTRE, once again his license to kill is revoked, and he goes rogue. Not one Craig film has him on a classic MI6 mission. Interspersed here and there could be interesting, but this is the same deal every movie. Is anyone aware of this? Is it a big joke amongst Eon Productions? It's getting annoying. It's not thickening the plot or deepening the character anymore, it's just redundant.

I've called several Bond films quintessential, but for Daniel Craig I'm saying this is it. M in his old office, Monypenny at her desk, Q in the lab and field, he's Bond, James Bond sleeping with at least two beautiful women and ordering vodka martinis shaken not stirred, wearing a white tux, driving an Aston Martin with gadgetry (some don't work, an amusing play). So yes, this epic two and a half hour Bond film gives you everything that's never quite been all together through the Craig movies. The train battles of From Russia With Love and Spy Who Loved Me are amped with the most agile, hardcore fighter we've ever seen: Dave Batista's Mr. Hinx, a man with sheer presence. Turns out when he finally utters his only line, he's tipping his hat to Robert Shaw with a Russian accent. And Bond is back out on his speedboat on the same river from World Is Not Enough, but in an arguably less exciting sequence as he combats not boat to boat, but boat to helicopter - I like it when the fight is on the same level. But then I'm not complaining about the plane vs SUVs earlier in the snow, one of the most exciting live action stunt scenes put to film; you can feel the weight of these machines rather than some lame CGI fill-in we're used to getting these days.

And Lea Seydoux is the most lovable Bond girl since Eva Green, someone who prefers no violence but is a bit more capable. It's surprising she becomes a damsel in distress given her ability to fire a gun, but it's not impractical either. She is pretty strong with Bond, making him wait just a bit longer than usual to get into bed, probably about the same runtime as Green's Vesper Lynd. But at the end of it all, she's someone we want to love, not merely have a quick mess around with.

But convoluted plot is still the issue here, there's quite a bit. One of them involves a contrived plot to deepen the relationship between Bond and Blofeld that treats the two as stepbrothers. This is jabbed in quickly during an intense sequence that screams classic Bond villain torture technique. On top of that, the film tries to sum up all the other Craig movies so that Blofeld has engineered everything that's happened. I guess that's fine, but there should be no other references or talk about it, because if you didn't see the previous films, you're left out. There's one part where Blofeld has set a terribly weak trap in the now abandoned former MI6, and pictures of various figures from Bond's past life - Vesper, M, Silva, Green, and LeChifre - all appear... it was cringeworthy.

The other issue with Blofeld is that he felt like another psycho Silva -- who the hell would actually work for this guy? There's nothing savvy or tricky about him, and yet his legions run deep in a worldwide conspiracy. Silva has a small army, Blofeld has the world. You can't have the psycho in that role, it's got to be someone more practical, more so to break things up between Silva and Blofeld. LeChifre, Green, and Silva were each perfect to follow each other, spreading the villainy diversely. You can go back to a Silva-type in a later chapter, but now you need something different. That's not to take anything away from Christoph Waltz, who technically did an amazing job, but the franchise did a poor job sequencing him in this way. If Waltz had gone first and Javier Bardem as Silva second, Waltz would be recognized as the superior.

Something else that may have turned fans off in our ultra-liberal age was the Orwellian plot. It seems when there's a republican in office, liberals love these kinds of stories (V for Vendetta during Bush), but once a democrat is in office, they don't want to create the impression that their administrations can do anything like that, so the liberal base turns and rejects these ideas as right-wing, big government-fearing paranoia. It's unfortunate, because I think it makes for a great plot device, and I believe it too. There's been evidence of media staging events or recreating scenarios, such as CNN during Gulf War, which makes parts like the South African bombing compelling... all in the name of advancing security measures. We see this in reality, but people turn a blind eye to it when someone like Obama is in office. If this film came out in 2006, people would laud it as taking a bold aim at the Bush administration - I guess it was badly timed in an age where the words 'conspiracy theory' are harshly condemned. But if Trump takes office, this film will resurge as a lost masterpiece and prophecy! It's all a bit silly, can't people just enjoy a solid plot motivator? The character C is a perfect dickhead, I only wish we got to see him and Blofeld together.

Bond movies aren't meant to be five stars, though Casino Royale is. And though Casino is the superior film, it's not the better Bond film. If I'm psyched and amped to watch a Bond spectacle, I'm going to SPECTRE because it's the best of the Craig bunch in that regard. Casino is a special treat that I can seldom watch and have to prepare myself for; it's far more than an action movie, it's the best quality story to film ever done for Bond. That's not what always makes you drool for 007. SPECTRE taps every fetish and leaves one as satisfied as the whole bottle of vodka itself, or an evening with Monica Belucci, shaken, not stirred.