Review of Sorority Row (2009) by Jordan B — 03 Apr 2010

Probably the most average movie of all time since Teen Wolf. It's not awful but it's not great. It's a fun time I guess but I was expecting something much scarier than the outcome. For the first 45 minutes or so, nothing scary happens. The story unfolds, the plot is set up and the characters are introduced. Not too many scares. However, when the killer starts to kill people, the first two deaths are so shocking and so creative and original, I almost wanted to give this movie 5 stars. You see the death in the trailer with the girl lying on the sofa drinking and the killer is looking at her from above, but the actual death is so shocking and creative that it almost makes the movie. The problem with this is that every death after that is just an average slit throat or something. Nothing as creatuve as the first kill. The rest of the movie plays out as a Whodunit? while both the cast and the audience try to figure out who the killer is. For me, I knew who the killer was from the very first time I saw the person who becomes the killer. The twist fails at being original, shocking or creative, it was just cliche and predictable.

The acting was *meh*.

The story was *meh*.

The deaths were *meh*.

The characters were *meh*.

The whole thing is just average.

The two factors that save this movie are Carrie Fisher and the first sister's death. The death is so creative that I found myself wanting more and as for Carrie Fisher, how could you go wrong with her? Carrie Fisher was a badass back then and she is a badass now. It's such a pity that she only has like 10 minutes of screentime because she was the best part about this movie.

Anyway, this review isn't written all that well and neither is this movie. Both this review and the movie are simply *meh* It's average entertainment that reminded me a lot of the 80's "classic" (I use that term VERY loosely), Teen Wolf. Everything was average about this movie and so was Teen Wolf. I guess I should be happy that this wasn't terrible like the other crap horror movies that come out now. If I had a choice between this and One Missed Call, it would be Sorority Row in a heart beat. At least Sorority Row provided some decent scares...