Review of Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (2012) by Mickelwick — 05 Jan 2013

Now, I am a very hard person to disappoint... BUT F**K YOU MICHAEL J. BASSETT, F**K YOU, F**K YOU, F**K YOU, WITH A RUSTY IRON SPIKE!!! needless to say, it was very disappointing, for starters, pyramid head is on all but TWO posters for the movie, he is in only TWO F**KING SCENES IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE, these scenes are both extremely underwhelming, when you hype up a monster with all of your promotional material, YOU HAVE TO DO MORE WITH HIM!!! the characters, only three are developed with any effectiveness (heather, harry and vincent), and adelaide clemens is so flat, she barely has any of the heart her character did, kit harington was good, and sean bean was, as always, great, carrie-anne moss, was great as claudia, malcom mcdowell was great as leonard, and deborah kara unger was great as dahlia, who is BARELY IN THE MOVIE, despite the fact that she deserves a greater role as she is, by proxy, heather's mother!!! martin donovan was good but also pushed almost out of the movie altogether, and what happens to him, CHEAP!!! oh, and don't blink, you might completely miss rahda mitchell.

.. who inexplicably provides a quiet mediocre performance... and to the shear lack of scares... there were only two scenes that scared me, one involves a birthday party, those who have seen it know what I mean, the other involves the mannequin spider.

.. which strangely enough only lasts 40 seconds... like I said, CHEAP... the plot also seems flat sometimes, but the worst part? the fact that open road cut near FIFTEEN MINUTES out of the film, which they have voiced no intention of putting back in.

.. what a shear f**king disappointment, this is barely silent hill, PLEASE MICHAEL J.