Review of Side Effects (2013) by Prateek S — 05 Feb 2015

The Problem with Squeaky Clean Heroes.

Jude Law (as Dr. J. Banks) comes away unscathed. Roona Mara (as E. Taylor) may be the star and pivotal character of this moovie and is in complete and utter control of the first two acts, but Law owns the third as the conquering valiant hero who reclaims his wife and family and his career and reputation as a shrink and legitimate drug distributor.

Critics have to stop calling this a Film Noir or Neo Noir or any sort of Noir whatsoever. No Noir on earth would stoop to such hero-takes-all happy-ending nonsense. How does the mastermind of such an elaborate plan to literally get away with murder and get super rich from insider trading by bringing down a giant drug company get so sloppy and crumble so easily in the end? Why would she push her luck and consent to any of Law's desperate last-ditch-attempt tricks? Why did she even need to destroy his marriage since it serves no purpose to her ambitions and only provokes him to exact revenge?

An authentic Noir would have been a more harrowing but satisfying experience. There would have been accelerated sexual tension between the doctor and his patient which leads to a lurid affair. Yes, lust corrupts the imperfect hero. Mara's jealous lesbian lover and co-conspirator Catherine Zeta-Jones as Dr. V. Siebert (too bad hubby Douglas wasn't cast as Dr. Banks) would then have reason to destroy Dr. Law's marriage and expose Mara as a con and, in the end, get away with all the money herself on some exotic beach sipping some exotic beverage. Even the brilliant Mara couldn't have seen this coming. Sure, Dr. Law gets his practice back but not his wife.

Instead we are left with an impossibly virtuous and infallible white male hero who restores all his hegemonic privileges and is no worse for the wear.

At the end of the day,.

Doctor and Drug Companies: good,.

Lesbians: evil.