Review of Shopgirl (2005) by Robinm. — 06 Nov 2005

A dreadful, dreary, utterly empty little film that'll have you leaving the theater feeling deflated and depressed. Claire Danes brings heart, soul and touching tenderness to an utterly implausible character.

Steve Martin doesn't allow the poor girl to do anything but be oh-so-grateful that his alter-ego has come into her life to take dress her up, wine and dine her, and then undress her with practiced smoothness in his groovy L.

A. bachelor pad. What the. . .? What's a cute, smart, romantic chick like her doing with the aging, dullsville Man from Glad? Sure, he's got the bucks to spoil her rotten, but she's clearly not the type to care after the high-rolling novelty wears off.

She wants love and respect and some intelligent conversation, and he gives her dumb, big ticket nights on the town, zero in the way of chemistry, zilch in terms of thought-provoking (or even mildly interesting) discussion, and a clear message that he's running on empty in the intimacy department.

But that's not supposed to faze our sweet, artsy girl from Vermont in the slightest????? Ya gotta be kidding. It just doesn't make sense. These glaring issues and bizarre inconsistencies can't help but take up all our attention as the scenes drag on, but nobody in the film seems to see them.

And as if all that weren't enough to make this film a creepy stinker, there's a sappy, pseudo-philosophical voice-over and swelling violins every time the two lovebirds are seen in close-up that will make you squirm in your theater seat.

Yuck.