Review of Shark Night 3D (2011) by The Movie W — 22 Oct 2011

This movie has taken some serious flak, mainly for it's PG-13 rating. In fairness "Jaws" was PG after all so what's the big deal? Well "Jaws" was made by a team of highly skilled film-makers, "Shark Night 3D" certainly isn't. Ellis should have taken a leaf out of Alexandra Aja's book. Aja knows he's no Spielberg so he chose to fill "Piranha 3D" with blood, boobs and general trashy good times.

Considering this is a mash of animal attack and backwoods horror it really needed to be a lot sleazier. In the hands of a proper sleazoid (or a European director) this could have been a perfect six pack 'n pizza flick. It's got all the stereotypes we know and love; the innocent boy and girl who definitely won't die, the jocks and sluts who definitely will, the sleazy rednecks, and the double-crossing corrupt sheriff. Plus a lake full of sharks! Come on folks! How can you possibly go wrong? Here's how; you make it a family movie so you can cash in. If people want diluted kid-friendly monster movies they can watch the SyFy channel. Perfect example; there's a scene where the rednecks strip a girl down to her underwear. If this was made in the seventies she would have been bare-ass nekkid!

At least Donal Logue seems to understand the spirit of these movies, he's great as the Sheriff and has the film's few amusing lines.

I haven't mentioned the 3D yet, that's because it's unmentionable. This movie gains absolutely nothing from it.

Hopefully the PG-13 decision will backfire, at time of writing it looks like breaking even but I wouldn't expect a sequel. "Piranha"'s sequel however is out next summer and I for one can't wait.