Review of Shark Night 3D (2011) by Barry S — 19 Nov 2011

College students head to Sara's secluded vacation home near Lake Pontchartrain.

It's located in southeastern Louisiana and is the second-largest inland saltwater body of water in the United States, after the Great Salt Lake in Utah, and the largest lake in Louisiana. It makes for a great breeding ground for sharks and College kids.

The stereotypical group of shark bait have a great time until one of them has their arm severed during a water ski accident. Some in the group consider it a propeller accident. (Insert 'Jaws' reference here). It was NOT a boating accident. Especially when one of them goes to retrieve said guys arm to discover a SHARK! [Screams like a little girl].

Now much can be implausible, but the scene that got me laughing the most was when they were trying to get the severed arm guy to a hospital by boat only to have the boat veer off into a fiery explosion once hitting a gas station/boathouse. The two, including the missing arm guy, survive by way of jumping into the water. The continuation from that scene is implausible because it immediately cuts to them bringing their armless friend into a bedroom. Ha Ha! Willful Suspension of Disbelief.

Coming to their rescue is two rednecks: Dennis and Red. One of them use to date Sara. Guess which one?

The whole backstory as it were is that these two good ol' boys put these sharks in the water for a good reason: to record sharks feasting on the flesh of college kids. Yee-Haw! That's sum fun stuff right there! I wish.

This PG-13 travesty has a few things going for it. It's lame attempt at nudity by just having shots of butts and skimpy outfits to tease. I mean if you wanted nudity than just do it! Also the gore moments...wait, I'm sorry THERE ARE NO GORY MOMENTS! WTF?!

Why was there so much limitations in a horror film about sharks?

Overall, it's biggest letdown is that it's rated PG-13. Give me a break.