Review of San Andreas (2015) by Zack2981 — 14 Jun 2015

If you like pretty good special effects and scenes of major landmarks being decimated in the same cheesy vein as Independence Day, then you may very well enjoy San Andreas. If you enjoy things that most movies are required to have (like story, believable characters, and plot points that make sense) you most likely will not. There is nothing even remotely original or interesting about this movie and if you've ever seen any disaster movie before then you already know how the "family dynamic" story played out. Emphasis on "played out".

There is a certain amount of cheese and silliness that I am willing to take in my action movies but the sheer amount of contempt and disdain that San Andreas shows for its audience overshadows anything that could have otherwise been enjoyable. The dialogue is perfunctory at best and the plot points are so completely ludicrous that you feel kind of like an idiot just suspending your disbelief to go along for the ride. This movie is designed for those who don't want to think while watching their movies. If you are quite content not using your brain whatsoever, then by all means go check out San Andreas. However, if you find cookie-cutter characters who always make exactly the right decisions based on no information and sheer luck then you'll probably find this movie as insufferable as I did. And I'm a Rock fan! But not even that can make me okay with this stupid, horrible, insulting excuse for a movie. All of the positive reviews for this movie (which I'm shocked by, frankly) seem to have been written by teenagers who have never seen special effects before. Because they're actually NOT THAT GREAT! I mean, if you want to watch The Rock boating through what could be a very cool video game background, then you can see that here. And yeah, the earthquake stuff looks cool. But in the end, that's all it is. A bunch of shaking around with absolutely nothing of substance holding it up.

Skip this one.