Review of Rise of the Footsoldier (2007) by Jay D — 13 Aug 2008

A film full of every actor you've ever seen portraying a gangster in Eastenders, The Bill or any other Brit-Gangster flick. They've been force fed a diet of steroids and steak for the duration of filming. The only dialogue they have to worry about learning is either full of threats, swearing or usually both. Any women in the film are just there to be slapped around or shagged then slapped around. Not one likeable charachter in the whole film, everyone is a nasty piece of work and by the end you're happy to see them get blown to smithereens. More scary than any horror film because you know that there's really people out there like this... I can't work out if this is a really good film or a really bad one as it has no real merit other than to glamourise violence towards anybody who isn't an out and out arsehole or ripped to the tits on a diet of steroids with an IQ lower than their shoe size. If this film has a message it must be a toss up between either 'Violence - it's great!' or 'don't worry if you're an East End actor between jobs, as long as you've got a long coat and a scowl there will be another gangster flick in need of actors along shortly'.

Watch it, feel disgusted at yourself for enjoying it and then pat yourself on the back for having evolved and being part of the human race. Then watch it again and laugh at the lunatics hurting people. Two hours spent watching these lunatics beat the hell out of everything is sure as hell better than having these lunatics beating the hell out of you for two hours!