Review of Red Sonja (1985) by Roland J — 27 Jul 2010

This is a sort of sequel to the Conan-films, set in the same "universe" as the previous two movies, this time with a female Heroine, Sonja, played by newcomer Brigitte Nielsen. The other main cast members are Sandahl Bergman as the evil queen and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Kalidor, who is bascially Conan in all but name.

The story is a standard sword-and-sorcery tale, about a "talisman" who gives the owner terrific powers, but its increasing powers threaten the whole world if it is not destroyed. It is up to the main characters, assisted by an extremely annoying little boy prince they find along the way, to destroy it.

Almost everything about this movie is bad. The special effects are bad (just look at the mechanical sea monster), the plot is ridiculous, but the acting is by far the worst I've seen in a long time, especially for a movie not made as a B-movie. It is especially disappointing to see Arnold, perhaps not the greatest actor at his best, perform so poorly. Avoid this!