Review of Red Riding Hood (2011) by Tim B — 11 May 2013

Red Riding Hood never gave me a huge interest to begin with and I skipped it in the theatres. The only reason I caught it was because there was another viewing in the house living room when I arrived home and was too tired to argue with what was playing.

I figured it couldn't hurt to chill and watch the damn thing. Looks like this is another case of 'instinct knows best' as, even while not expecting anything from this one, managed to bore me to tears and be a chore to sit through.

I'll start with the very little good I saw in this mess and the first being: Catherine Hardwicke. The lady has a great eye and was about half the reason the first Twilight flick didn't completely suck, IMO.

She kept to a visual style that made the movie a lot better looking than it had any right to be. Loved the overhead shots! Finally, Gary Oldman and his overacting kept me awake and had me either cracking up or roaring in confidence whenever he'd bring on the cheese.

Dude is at that point where anything he does is just awesome. Kudos. The rest of the actors I either loathed or simply felt embarrassed for with the putrid dialogue they had to spit out. Amanda Seyfried basically peeked around corners with wide eyes for the bulk of the movie.

The script didn't ask much of her and she didn't stand out in the least. Billy Burke does alright but again, isn't helped by the stinky dialogue or the non-chemistry between him and Seyfried.

Shiloh Fernandez usually rocks but didn't convince me here. Again, not the actor's fault, he had f*ck all to work with. Virginia Madsen is still gorgeous and played a olde-time slut. Yummy! Julie Christie rocked, as per usual, in the minimal amount of screen time she had.

Bad effects, bad love story (so forced... got Twilight flashbacks there), bad character moves (why are these people waiting for more death before taking action?), bad effects and sets (it's so obvious that half of the outdoor scenes were shot on a stage) and bad attempt at a mystery (really? I thought this was based on a fairy tale?).

Those who are a fan of the original story won't find much in terms of reference either. Only at the very end does it tie in with the tale. There's really nothing here in terms of what the movie had going for it.

It tried to be too many things at once and half-assed them all. I feel bad for the talent involved and it was a boring/unintentionally funny watch. I can't bring myself to waste more time with it than I already have.

Moving on...