Review of Prisoners (2013) by Thehague67 — 21 Sep 2013

...Terrible...First off, this was produced by Mark Wahlberg so you would think it would be, at the very least, mildly badass. Plus it has Hugh Jackman, Jake Gillyhall, the Black Guy from Ironman, and the kid from There Will Be Blood plays an assburger.

That aside, the movie starts off like any other kidnap movie. Happy family, parents not paying attention, rapist scoops up the goods. Pretty standard. The suspect gets off clean, the police dont even contemplate anyone else as a possibility and Hugh Jackman takes justice into his own hands. Which sounds exciting right? Wrong. The plot proceeds to drag on for 2 and a half hours of blatantly cut and dry detective work, some moralistic struggles with Jackman and the mom giving Wolverine crap for not protecting them better. Which pisses me off cuz at least HE didnt spend the first week after their kid got snatched up drowning his sorrows in Zoloft and Puffs Plus Tissues. All that aside, this team of Oscar Award winners couldn't make up for the horrendous plot. Kinda makes me wonder if Jackman actually read the script or if that ability was taken with his kid. In the end, all I could feel was that the real Prisoners in this story was the audience themselves.