Review of Pinocchio (2022) by Theredsky — 05 Nov 2022

Every time I think the Disney Live Action remakes can’t get any worse, they pump out something even worse then their previous attempt setting the already INCREDIBLY low bar even lower. That’s what’s happened here with Pinocchio.

I despise this movie with every fiber of my being because it feels unfinished and this time I don’t feel like I’m speaking in hyperboles. I genuinely think the movie just isn’t finished. The visual effects look like they were created not even 2 months ago and sometimes look like a parody of the Spy Kids movies minus the charm.

Every scene feels like the first take and that they didn’t review the footage until they were in the editing room. I’m almost 100% positive that the script is a first draft as well in the sense that they tried to copy and paste some elements from the original film while also dragging the scene’s out with pointless dialogue and some incredibly unfunny jokes.

All of the performances here are very underwhelming. Tom Hanks clearly only agreed to be in this because he’s friends with the Director and it shows in his performance. There’s no life in his performance and that’s the same for pretty much everyone else besides Joseph Gordon-Levitt who at least feels like he’s trying to do something.

There isn’t anything in this film story wise that isn’t done better or more swiftly done than in the original. There’s an extra 20 minutes added to this film and I really struggle to understand why it was needed.

Why was this film even made in the first place? Answer, I don’t know to be honest. I think originally it was money but they didn’t release it in theaters so. This is an absolute waste of time and I would highly recommend not watching this and staying as far away from this product as possible.