Review of Phantom Thread (2017) by Robert B — 04 Feb 2018

***SPOILER ALERT***.

I have no patience for period pieces. I detest haute couture. Romance bores me to tears (of yawning - lack of oxygen). The only reason I saw this this evening is because I did not want to watch the Super Bowel, so I figured this was about as anti-Super Bowel as it goes. Let us just say I had rather low expectations for this film, as did my movie partner.

The main male character is utterly unsympathetic. We found not one single redeeming quality about him. But he was offensively grotesque. That was humorous, at least. I feared, half an hour in, that this would become either (a) 50 Shades of Stupid Sado-Masochistic Romance, (b) another shade of Polanski's "Bitter Moon", or (c) a lamely predictable tale of a bossy male and the woman who eventually struggles to free herself from him.

As soon as the mushrooms appeared, everything shifted in an entirely different direction! My attention was grabbed! And then the beauty of this hilariously twisted, sick, sick, black comedy about two monsters engaged in an utterly (dys?-)functional relationship rose before me and I had a jolly good time watching those two get exactly what they both wanted and deserved. Very satisfying. Really perverse.

Recommended only for extremely cynical single.