Review of Phantom (2013) by Stephen D — 08 Sep 2013

A whole mess of problems. So "inspired by true events", this is about a rogue Russian submarine that is armed with a nuclear warhead, and when the ship is facing mutiny, World War III seems to be right around the corner.

I took the time to watch one of the biggest box office bombs of the year (this opened up at number 23), and while I would never root for a movie to fail, it is probably in everybody's best interest that this went well under everybody's radar.

It's hard to figure out where to start, but I guess that would have to be with the snoozefest of a script featured here; I found my interest waning midsentence in dialogue, as there really isn't an engaging way for these actors to deliver these thinly written lines.

I don't blame the actors featured here, as Ed Harris can deliver a good performance when need be, and William Fichtner is always a face I get excited to see, but they have next to nothing to work with, as this is material that is impossible to elevate.

They're also all supposed to be Russian, but it's almost like everybody looked at each other and said, "meh, nobody cares, right?" There's not a hint of an accent or even a Russian flag until the end of the movie, but I guess you can add that to the list of things that don't make sense here.

You also have facts like they seemingly hit another ship with no repercussions, and there is also a claustrophobic submarine officer... Can't make this up. Characters also make nonsensical decisions throughout, and I would only recommend this movie to a person that is having difficulty sleeping at night.