Review of Pearl Harbor (2001) by Andrew M — 21 Mar 2018

Hooh boy. Whilst the middle hour is a bravura action sequence, that is the filling in a sandwich where no bread was available, only turds. There are two whole films' worth of footage where nothing happens, just tedious efforts to make you care about cardboard characters, where the cheese levels are ramped up and the writing utilises every clichà (C) in the book.

Ben Affleck is not even the worst thing about this - that honour goes to a career-worst Alec Baldwin. And neither of them even had the good grace to die. Feels like a spoof, but no, it's just phenomenally bad.