Review of One Missed Call (2008) by The Fat Man Q — 24 Aug 2011

The victims in this comedy...er...horror flick receive a phone call that tells when they will be killed, what color shoes they'll be wearing, the brand of their hair gel, who they last kissed, when their last bowel movement was, their grandmother's maiden name, their grandmother's social security number, the name of their favorite indie band, who killed Kennedy, and other startling facts. Once they've been marked, they see strange things like babies on fire, bugs crawling through people's skin, dolls wielding knives, men with pennies jammed up their noses, feet covered in bird feathers, dogs walking backwards, and other unsettling and fairly cliche horror shticks. When the victims finally die in gruesome but accidental ways, a hard candy is found in their mouth, a tattoo telling you where you left your bank card behind their ear..... okay, I'm getting a little bored with this. But honestly, it was just cram-packed with the dumbest, most unrelated visuals I've seen in any movie. The plot resolution isn't much more coherent either. I should have figured this is what I get for an early January release that sneak previews at 10PM on the evening before it opens, and your big name is Margaret Cho.

I'm disappointed in this movie for a variety of reasons. Here's the rundown:

Atlanta shot movie. I'd love to see good movies come out of Atlanta, but when this is what you associate with the film scene here, it's not much help. I will say the hospital set was absolutely beautiful. I didn't recognize it, but it has to be an abandonment in Atlanta.

The trailer was actually pretty good. I usually don't care for horror trailers, but this one was appealing in some way. That's rare for me.

It starred one of my new favorite actors, Shannyn Sossamon. She also starred in what was my favorite film of 2007 Wristcutters: A Love Story. She did as much as she could with it, so props Shannyn.

Oh, and for once I'd like to see college students living in a dumpy apartment with 9 other people, and not in lavish mansions by themselves. Who are these people? I'd kill them too.

One Missed Call is one painful ride. Save your time (thankfully my experience was free), and go see anything else.