Review of Nine Lives (2016) by Cameron F — 04 Aug 2016

If you haven't seen the infamous and forgotten B-movie gem "Quigley" starring Gary Busey, here is your chance to see a better produced version of that script. Inexplicably, Christopher Walken, a cat-whispering wizard creep, transforms Kevin Spacey into a cat named Mr.

Fuzzypants to teach him a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas or something. In a desperate attempt to avoid being castrated by everyone, Spacey gets drunk, stalks his loved ones, ruminates on his narcissism, urinates on things, and questions his son's masculinity - all the while attempting to convince his preteen daughter that he is a human trapped in a cat.

Everyone gets drunk to deal with Spacy's human form being in a coma, there's a "jailbait" joke, and the CG cat falls down and runs into things. You know where the movie is going the whole time, but at the near-packed screening surrounded by children, their moms and elderly people, there were plenty of chuckles.

I even heard someone say "That was a really good movie" as the credits were rolling. I certainly can't fault it for being a crowd-pleaser for it's intended demographic, and I could tell that everyone involved was either having a lot of fun or just didn't care at all.

Also, among this and the other two films I watched, "Jason Bourne" and "Suicide Squad", this was by far the best.