Review of Nine (2009) by H.d.bfly — 28 Dec 2009

Day-Lewis was terrible. The worst Italian imitation ever. His accent was Eastern European. Totally miscast. And the character was totally unlikeable, bereft of even a hint of charisma. Why would anyone like him, let alone love him? Okay, the women.

We see them in the beginning, like a tease on a TV variety show. Starring Nicole Kidman--whom you won't see until the third act. Kate Hudson, who appears in the "reality" portion of the film half the time she's in the fantasy musical number.

There is no character for them to play, only types, and they come and go so quickly, there is no time to get to know the characters or have the actress's develop a scintilla of one. Sophia Loren? I dare anyone to repeat a line she said--good or bad--that doesn't have the word Guido in it.

What was her song? I couldn't tell you if a knife was at my throat. Marion Cotillard was a wonder. I've never seen her act before and she blew me away. The brightest spot in a lightless film.

[Although I generally liked the cinematography.] Penelope Cruz was good, too. And Judi Dench, well, was Judi Dench. You can always depend on that old workhorse. The rest, a big mess. Terrible DDL, terrible songs, and stinky direction.

I went in expecting a not-great film but even those low expectations were not met.