Review of My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) by Gavin W — 14 Jan 2018

Wow! I gave up an hour and a half of my life to try and ride the Brony train. This movie was my first experience with My Little Pony, and it was complete shit!

Knowing nothing about the lore of My Little Pony, I struggled to understand why there are so many characters in the film (five ponies to be exact with baby Spyro accompanying them). The only thing that makes the ponies distinctive is that they're different colours. Among them is a pegasus that can shoot rainbows out of its ass and a farmer pony that wears a hat. As if there aren't enough characters already, the movie also introduces a cat, a group of parrots, and a couple of sea-ponies.

Many of the supporting characters are given very little screen time and dialogues. The only characters I remembered by the end of the film is the main character and the villains, Princess Twilight, Tempest, and Storm King. Oh, and Pinkie Pie, but only because she was the most annoying character in the entire film.

The biggest cardinal sin is that this movie is absolutely boring, especially in the second half of the film. It follows every action-adventure cliches in the book, and the recurring theme of friendship is so simplistic. The animation is too flat to be cinematic and the musical numbers were grating to my ears. I like Sia, but even she was hard to listen to.

Even though My Little Pony has garnered a cult following of grown men, My Little Pony: The Movie is a movie for the littlest of kids. Unless you're already a Brony, My Little Pony is too simplistic and basic to resonate with adults. It's a thinly-written movie that pads its running time with meandering subplots, underdeveloped characters, and numerous musical numbers. The only scenes I mildly enjoyed are the few scenes with Storm King. I actually watched this movie with an open mind, until one of the characters started singing.