Review of My Bloody Valentine (2009) by Shaun B — 29 May 2012

A movie titled My Bloody Valentine is clearly non trying to pander to art house crowds, nor does it even seem to be reaching for a higher ilk in the horror genre, but while appearing as a fully tacky horror movie entry (a 3-D remake) My Bloody Valentine succeeds in avoiding and ultimately reviving the never ending pitfalls of such films; a strong, unique opening and a surprising and completely plausible, non-ridiculous finale.

Unfortunately the movie is not as strong as its bookend acts, but it is certainly gory, fun, terrifying, tense and nothing but entertaining. (And yes, there is also nudity). The use of the trademark, in your face, 3-D tactics is mostly restrained, although it seems that director Patrick Lussier (who has mostly been in horror movie limbo since he directed Dracula 2000) could not avoid the intermittent pickaxe to the screen. The performances are actually quite strong, and while this is becoming more the norm in horror films, MBV even forgoes the smart-alecky, prankster character which removes the propensity for us to be taken out of the film.

The unique opening is actually a three-tier start. Flashing newsreels reveal that the collapse of the Hanniger Mine in a small town which claimed the lives of 6 miners (Or was it something else that killed the men?). Awakening from a comma years later, the sole survivor of the cave-in, Harry Warden, picks up where he left off, slaying dozens before being killed himself concluding what the town dubbed the Valentines Day Massacre. But all is not what it seems, as 10 years later Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles), a near-victim of Warden, returns to the small town to sell the mine but the killings suspiciously begin once again and it is up to Tom to clear his name.

My Bloody Valentine is a full-fledged throwback to the golden age of slasher films, like Friday the 13th (and is ironically better then the Friday remake this year) and never for a single second tries to be anything it's not and in doing so, it ultimately becomes something it shouldn't be; fun.