Review of Moonraker (1979) by Chris G — 03 Dec 2008

After watching this again recently I had to drop the rating on this by a star and a half. We all know the story: Moonraker is James Bond in space.

Yeah.

The funny thing about Moonraker is that the first hour and a half really isn't that bad considering that it's a movie about James Bond in space. Is has all the classic Bond quips and Roger Moore's incredible pheremones that would have Barbara Bush humping him in 15 seconds. But there are two things that kill Moonraker.

The first one is Hugo Drax. Yes, this is the villain. The most boring villain ever created. That is an understament because I can't imagine anyone coming up with such a dull character in my life. All he wants to do is sit around and eat cucumber sandwiches, leaving the dirty work to a crappy Oddjob impersonator. He's horrible and whenever he's on screen the film comes to a screeching halt.

The other problem is that it's James Bond in space. Not only is it James Bond in space, Jaws is there too. With his girlfriend.

The hell?

Moonraker features the corniest space battle with some of the crappiest blasters ever. Greedo could have gone taken a dump, ordered a McRib, walked back and shot first against these guys. Meanwhile is the big climax is Roger Moore playing Missle Command. Of course Desmond Llewellyn gets off probably the best line in the film:

"I believe he's attempting re-entry.".

The song, the fight for the parachute, and that line. That's about it.