Review of Moonraker (1979) by Ben L — 16 Jun 2013

This movie starts off with so much promise. I imagine just reading that sentence can tell you which way my opinion's going to go by the end. At the outset we have an excellent action sequence of a fight in free-fall. Then we move into a long sequence of Bond playing private eye. I really like these moments when Bond is following the clues and trying to piece together what happened. He knows early who's to blame, but trying to deduce what Drax has planned is an adventure. Naturally Drax decides it's best to just eliminate Bond immediately, and he does plan some of the most elaborate deaths. Death by G-force machine is a new one. I particularly love the showdown in the glass museum, which is exciting and simultaneously kind of funny. Yet there's a moment when this film takes a turn for the worse, and when this movie turns that way it achieves a "worse" that is almost unmatched in any other Bond movie. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's first look at the cast.

Roger Moore is either at his physical peak in this film, or they did a great job doubling him, because the fight scenes look realistic for a change. He's still classy, and convincing as a real ladies' man, too. I like Michael Lonsdale as Hugo Drax. He seems so calm and distinguished, and yet I can kind of see the glimmer of insanity behind his eyes. The women is where I have the biggest issue. Corinne Clery is charming, and I really sympathize with her character. However Lois Chiles, who gets the lead female role for the majority of the film, is one of the most cold and flat actresses I've ever seen. I said something similar about Bach in The Spy Who Loved Me, but this one is even worse. I feel like the producers decided that a strong woman means a boring, emotionless woman. I lack any sympathy for her character, and don't find myself caring whether she is still alive when Bond loses her halfway through the movie. I wish they could have switched the 2 actresses and given me someone to actually like for more of the movie.

But it's not like Lois Chiles brought Moonraker crashing to the ground all on her own. Oh no, there's so much more to blame here. Sadly, when Jaws returns it all seems to start. Jaws was a brilliant henchman in Spy Who Loved Me, because he's physically intimidating and looks so menacing with those metal teeth. Yet here he quickly becomes comic relief. His attempts to nab Bond and the female agents could almost be considered bumbling. Then somehow he meets the blonde Pippi Longstocking and falls in love at first site, such a strong love that he switches sides in the climax?! It's so tremendously out of character not just for Jaws, but for the entire Bond franchise. Speaking of things that feel completely out of place in the Bond universe, the space battle is like something pulled out of a sci-fi movie. Yes we know Star Wars was a big deal, but that doesn't mean you try to compete with a Bond film. There's a bunch of other nonsense that drives me crazy in the second half of this film. I still can't bring myself to give Moonraker a truly terrible rating, because I enjoy the first half, but by the end I just find myself laughing at the film instead of enjoying the action.