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Last updated: 06 Jun 2026 at 15:30 UTC

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Review of by Kimk. — 07 May 2006

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Very loud and very, very dumb. Perhaps it's my fault: I've been watching episodes of the old "Mission Impossible," and I've become spoiled. See, the old MI offered, well, missions.

Capers. Hell, it offered PLOTS. It let us get to know its villains in order that we could understand what fabulously dangerous people they were. It did not air the private lives of its heroes like so many wincingly embarrassing pairs of Underoos.

Its female characters had brains growing between their pretty ears, and they knew how to use those brains. What this miserable, incomprehensible blob of a movie has is NOISE and BLUR. And TOM CRUISE, E-MO-TING.

Two stars for the obligatory-- but glorious-- forty seconds in which Phillip Seymour Hoffman pounds the living snot out of Tom Cruise. The rest-- most especially the sickly, sticky-sweet tripe between Ethan Hunt and His Woman-- is trash.

I understand now why they delayed getting "Mission: Impossible Season One" out on DVD; it would have made Mr. Cruise's latest ego exercise look even stupider than it already is. They even manage to butcher the theme music.

Miserable.

This review of Mission: Impossible III (2006) was written by on 07 May 2006.

Mission: Impossible III has generally received positive reviews.

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