Review of Mission: Impossible II (2000) by Gareth R — 20 Sep 2011

Action movies don't get much more action movie-ey than this. The second Mission Impossible film offers every explosion-themed cliche imaginable, from cars that blow up when you shoot them right to sassy heroines who are all about girl power until they shrug and sleep with the hero anyway. John Woo lathers enough slow motion over it to make me think this is really a 90 minute movie, and not the two-hour slog it resembles in real time.

Much like the first one, this isn't so much a team effort as Ethan Hunt, 007. Tom Cruise plays the invincible spy with less flair this time round: without the angry spark that made him halfway interesting in Brian De Palma's film, this Ethan is a posturing nonentity. Slightly more interesting is his nemesis, Sean Ambrose, played by Dougray Scott who manages the strange feat of being furious throughout the entire movie. The two are so familiar with one another that they can perfectly predict each other's actions; you'd think this would preclude the action scenes, but no, through the miracle of Dougray Scott suddenly being stupid for no reason, Cruise sails through.

Ving Rhames and John Polson tag along to offer anorexic helpings of sidekick wit - Ving is fashion-conscious, John Australian - and Anthony Hopkins shows up long enough to grin and accept his paycheque. Thandie Newton plays the woman connecting hero and villain. The "sexy" dialogue is howl-inducing ("Can I go on top?" isn't much of a double entendre) and Cruise shares no particular bond with her. It's distinctly hard to invest in the (endless) action scenes when you're not fussed about the people getting shot at. Although a scene where Ving Rhames nearly got blown up did cause mometary panic.

The plot is incidental and ridiculous, of course: the screenwriters long ago admitted to writing around John Woo's pre-arranged fight sequences. Anyway, it involves a mega-virus (which is green) created to lead the way to a mega-cure (which is red), and that's about it. The action sequences are very stylish, in an painstakingly-choreographed way that means you sometimes forget Cruise and Scott aren't playing duelling stuntmen, with Woo staples such as doves appearing at opportune moments (apart from one scene, where pigeons will have to do). There's a lot of supposedly clever misdirection involving face-masks, but they do it so often you wonder how the characters haven't started checking that people are who they say they are. If they're such clever-cloggses that they know what time Ethan Hunt will break into a building, and where, why not station a man there to shoot him? Sigh.

M:I-2 is sometimes shamefully effective, provided you're an action movie sort of person. It's daft enough to be enjoyed on the simplest of terms. (Failing that, you can simply laugh at it.) You won't care what's going on, you won't care why, but John Woo has gone to some lengths to ensure you can stare at it without getting too bored. But if you want something with better actors, better story and less inyerface cliches, stick to the first one.