Review of Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life (2016) by Patrick L — 16 Mar 2017

"Instead of being a Grade A kids movie, "Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life" only comes off as cafeteria leftovers".

DVD Movie Review: Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life.

Date Viewed: January 7 2017.

Directed By Steve Carr (Dr. Dolittle 2, Daddy Day Care, Rebound, Are We Done Yet? and Paul Blart: Mall Cop).

Screenplay By Chris Bowman, Hubbel Palmer and Kara Holden, Based on the novel by James Patterson and Chris Tebbetts.

Starring: Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Rob Riggle, Andy Daly, Thomas Barbusca, Adam Pally, Jacob Hopkins, Retta, Alexa Nisenson, Isabela Moner and Efren Ramirez.

"Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life" is a rare movie that made me go back to my time vault and explore my past middle school years, they were rough and pretty horrible. The middle school presented in this movie doesn't have the same bad school life I've endured but the school establishment here is completely out of touch with fun, reality and emotions. For every kids movie about elementary or middle school, they always have a few jerks who interfere with the protagonist's life a lot and these jerks are believe it or not adults. The emotional level in this movie is all over the map, it wants to be funny, charming, atheist and sometimes emotional with a out-of-nowhere subplot involving the death of a family member.

"Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life" could've been called "Middle School: The Worst Nickelodeon-knockoff of My Life" because it would've played well as a Nickelodeon movie. The movie is based on the series of best-selling children's books by author James Patterson and Chris Tebbetts so it may play to a certain kiddie audience. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those kids anymore and I found this movie to be particularly lazy and completely boring. The story centers around a new middle school kid named Rafe Khatchadorian (Griffin Gluck), he has a passion for art but he's also known for breaking a lot of rules which lead to him getting expelled from multiple schools.

His only friend is Leo (Thomas Barbusca) and he is overwhelmed by the school's strict authoritarian principal, Ken Dwight (Andy Daly). Dwight has zero tolerance for after school activities, he is a big climate change denier and he wants his students to apply and follow his long list of rules. During a class assembly, Dwight also wants his students to get ready for the BaseLine Assessment of the Academic Readiness (BLAAR for short) standardized test which causes many groans from the students. Rafe ignores his principal's standardized test announcement by drawing Dwight as a zombie who says BLAAR! BLAAR! BLAAR! over and over again in his sketchbook but it soon gets the attention of Dwight who retaliates by destroying Rafe's sketchbook by putting it in a bucket of acid. HOLY CRAP PRINCIPAL! You could've just locked it away in some drawer. Putting it in a yellow bucket of acid is just plain cruel.

With his imaginary world and characters gone, Rafe is forced to redo all of his artwork but things just keep getting worse. He and sister, Georgia (Alexa Nisenson) are forced to tag along with their mother's (Lauren Graham) new boyfriend, Carl "Bear" Jules (Rob Riggle). He's a selfish SOB who hates kids and he wants to make Rafe's life more miserable by hoping to send him to military school if he screws up and gets expelled from middle school. The movie also has a potential love interest for the rule-breaking Rafe as he gets smitten with a nerdy socialist named Jeanne (Isabela Moner). She too is sick and tired of Principal Dwight's authoritarian rule of the school and she is concerned about the fate of the polar bears in Antarctica because the polar ice caps are melting but Dwight doesn't believe in climate change and he thinks that the polar bears only eat ice. Where exactly did Dwight get his college degree from? Trump University?

Rafe plans to fight back against the school by breaking all kinds of rules, like breaking into the trophy case and putting the trophies in an aquarium filled with sea fish and an eel, putting colored post-its all over the school and filling the teachers' lounge with plastic colored balls.

"Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life" should be a fine movie for the kids but not only does it have two indistinctive jerks, it also has some questionable suggestive behavior. During the principal's assembly, when the student council members talk about their hopes and prospects for the school, the popular hot-shot council member brags about having a rich father and a hot step-mom. Who put the words "my step-mom is really hot" in this kids movie? The comedic gags are directed at a slow and careless pace by Steve Carr whose distinguished resume includes "Dr. Dolittle 2", "Daddy Day Care", "Rebound", "Are We Done Yet?" and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop".

The humor and the story structure of "Middle School" is predictable, the kid actors are only sub-par here although I did like Isabela Moner's performance as the nerdy socialist girl and the adult performers have no place to go. Instead of being a Grade A kids movie, "Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life" only comes off as cafeteria leftovers.