Review of Miami Vice (2006) by Dominiquel. — 26 Jul 2006

My father got a free pass to see the advance screening of Miami Vice for last night and he invited me along. What possessed me to say yes is a question that will haunt me for the rest of my days. Before I tear this movie apart, I will admit there are a few good things about it: Miami Vice looks good (in a very Collateral, but nonetheless effective way) and the fighting sequences often prove to be very effective.

That's about it. Honest to God, I have never been more bored in a movie theatre in my entire life. Colin Farrell proves once again that he can't act his way out of a paper bag. Jamie Foxx proves once again that all he can do is imitate Ray Charles.

Gong Li and Naomie Harris prove once again they are wasted talent. None of the leads have any chemistry, not Farrell and Li, not Foxx and Harris, and, most of all, not Farrell and Foxx. None of the characters are engaging or fun to watch (with the possible exception of the villains), and when Harris's character is in mortal peril, no one cared less than me, except for Foxx as Rico Tubbs.

He hardly shows any emotion in the entire flick, though maybe the screen writers or editors are to blame, we might never know. What's for sure is that Farrell (as Crockett) and Foxx show about as much depth as a Jessica Simpson video.

I know that the TV series (which I never watched) was basically a play on the MTV generation and that the episodes were, in a way, music videos, but Mann does not exploit the film that way. Instead of being cheeky and superficial, Tubbs and Crockett have no personality and Mann only emphasizes that fact by trying to give them personal issues to work with.

Pick a side!! The plot is incomprehensible for the most part. Farrell, in what appears to be a constant hangover, cannot enunciate to save his life (Foxx looks just as confused as I did) and the writing fails to build up the story effectively.

The dialogue is also laughable. After a date, Li (as Isabella) tells Crockett about a fortune cookie. He pauses, and moves on by asking her about insurance. Are you kidding me???? Most of the movie's dialogue, however, is specific to Tubbs and Crockett's job, though it is never clarified to enlighten the viewer.

I tried to decipher it all, but gave up after a few minutes, for I seriously did not really care. The geography is also confusing, as the characters are constantly flying/boating/driving in and out of various locales.

The occasional title hardly helps the audience. Which brings me to another question: where the hell is Miami in 'Miami' Vice??? 'Central American' Vice might've been a better title.

.. In the end, what I'm trying to say is I know that as a twenty year old girl, I am not the target audience, but does that mean I had to be bored to tears the entire time? The best thing about the film were the trailers for Children of Men and The Black Dahlia.