Review of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) by Elísabet S — 23 Aug 2009

"Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" is among one of the worst films I have every seen. It is always easy to find faults over positives, but this poorly acted mess has no positives that I can see.

Set in modern day America and Tokyo the film exists in a pathetic world in which everyone either speaks fluent cliche or can only say, "THAT'S AN ORDER!", "'What kind of resolution are we hoping for?' 'A Bloodbath'". Megalodon was the biggest sea predator of all time, totaling a colossal maximum size of a city bus! In the movie, however, the megalodon is bigger than a battle ship able to jump 35,000 feet above the sea to catch a plane mid flight, neither get explained by the "experts" whose opinion of the shark shifts over the course of the film from, "the biggest discovery ever, bugger the human casualties" to, "kill the bastard" when the movie requires. The giant octopus is barely seen until a pointless battle near the end only to give the film it's name.

I suppose, however, the one realistic aspect of the movie is the use of CGI; as if exploitation cinema was still being made, the budget only allows glimpses and the re-use of shots of the two colossuses which I found to be appropriate, but in an un-winnable scenario, boring.

During a brainstorm on the subject of capturing the two beasts, the three scientists begin to mix coloured chemicals for no apparent reason, to which I laughed out load. This pretty much sums up the film, acting clever to give the impression that they know what they are doing. Writer-director Ace Hannah doesn't have any real knowledge on any nautical subject or any film ever made about it. It's disguised as a send off of exploitation without any of the actual knowledge of say, Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof".