Review of Malcolm & Marie (2021) by Dj98 — 30 Jun 2021

I personally found this movie very uncomfortable and unpleasant just because I don’t like watching people argue. Other than that, it’s still a fine movie. Not Oscar-worthy, but it’s ok for a low-budget movie with one setting and only two characters. My biggest gripe with the movie is the dynamic between Malcolm and Marie. It felt like Malcolm was abusing Marie rather than arguing. The difference between an argument and abuse is the same difference between a fight and a beating. Power. If both sides have equal amounts of power, then it’s an argument. If one side is overtly stronger, older, and or wealthier than the other, then it’s abuse. Malcolm is the primary breadwinner and is older than Marie by 12 years. He clearly holds the most amount of power in the marriage. Neither directors nor actors saw a problem with this setup because age gap marriages where the man is the older one are prevalent in movies.

That being said, Malcolm & Marie could’ve been excellent if it served as a cautionary tale of age gap relationships and why they rarely work in the long run. Malcolm's comment about how he helped Marie during her lowest point was a great setup for how a lot of people end up in age-gap relationships. The older person was usually the younger person’s savior and or mentor. Young people always seek guidance, especially if they’re poor, have big dreams they don't know how to accomplish, and or suffering from an affliction. When the young person gets over their issues, they naturally grow closer to the older person. While also feeling indebted. Not to mention the older person may grow a sense of entitlement and feel as though the younger person “owes them.” Once the arguing starts happening, one of the most common points the older person likes to use is, “without me, you’d be nothing!” The younger person is also susceptible to control due to their lack of life experience. At first, it's the little things like how they dress, what foods they should eat, and what they do for entertainment. Then it gradually escalates into being forbidden from befriending anyone of the opposite sex, being told to not speak without permission, and how often they can see their family. A way the older person justifies their control over the younger person is by taking a more parental role by saying, “I know what’s best for you.” Part of the reason why Malcolm & Marie faught so much is because of their age gap. For example, what would a 25-year-old and a 45-year-old even have in common? The answer is almost nothing. While it's true that opposites attract, if there's no common ground, then the relationship will be superficial and unstable. A 25-year-old and a 45-year-old are on entirely different planes of existence. One of my favorite scenes from the Netflix show, Bojack Horseman, was when Diane explained to Mr. Peanutbutter why so many of his marriages failed. The answer is because he keeps pursuing women in their early 20s. A 25-year-old is not a fully formed adult, no matter what the law says. They're still trying to figure things out and what they want to do with our lives. I doubt many people in their 20s who know what to do for a career. Whereas most people in their 40s usually have their lives figured out and are comfortable with settling down. The few who don't are usually immature, and immature people in their 40s with money can be dangerous and predatory. This is how age gap relationships can lead to grooming and abuse.