Review of Machete Kills (2013) by Realmuthaf — 04 Nov 2014

The whole Machete thing has always been a joke. When the fake trailer appeared in the Grindhouse, it was a funny one. Then it got out of hand. The first movie was pretty watchable, but the joke was starting to get overused, you can't make a good movie out of a single gag (or at least Rodriguez can't). This time, the sequel has come very close to the line that separates a crappy movie from a mediocre one. Utter senselessness, poor visual effects, cheesy acting and stupid forced dialogues just don't go unnoticed.

Who pulls this from the depths of awfulness are Michelle Rodriguez (she's hot), Amber Heard (she's even hotter), Mel Gibson (it's a shame he's had a blow to his reputation, he's still same ol' awesome Mel) and Charlie Sheen (because any movie gets better with jokes about Charlie Sheen and hookers or drugs).

So, Machete Kills is barely watchable and gets a very weak 4 out of 10, which is actually 3.5 rounded to 4, something like that. And considering the open nods to an even more ridiculous sequel set in space, things will get worse.